Happy Ending

Do you believe in happy ending?
I don't.
I don't want to believe it;
because what makes it happy if it has to end.
So I believe in an endless happy story
which is too good to be true
and people said,
If it's to0 good, then maybe it's really too good to be true

Sometimes pain is needed
Because it makes you alive
And am I alive now?
No, I am not.
I have killed my own pain, and suddenly I am numb.
So, how can I ever feel an endless happy story if I'm numb?